Of Angels and Rainbows.....

The beautiful grounds of Bay Cliff overlooking Lake Superior

For those that haven’t heard us explain, Bay Cliff Health Camp is an 80 year old camp in the Upper Peninsula.  Their premier program is Children’s Summer Therapy Camp; a seven week session where kids are immersed in therapy but in a camp setting with no limits on how it happens (i.e. no insurance guidelines to dictate what can be therapy).  I stumbled upon it over a year ago when I was looking for a camp for our entire family to attend to help us grow from the experience of living with CP.  At the time I was only interested in us coming as a family but as I talked with the therapy coordinator, Miss Christy, and heard things like, “we’ve had kids with that surgery and they’ve made great progress” I knew we should consider it for Donovan. 

It truly took me an entire year to think about sending Donovan away this far or for this amount of time without crying. We knew this was a wonderful resource but how could we let go of him for seven weeks!?  And, how could we consider this when he has been through so much already this year!?  How would he do away from us, not only Steve and I but his best friends and best advocates;  Emma and Carl? 

As we learned more about what the rehab from the surgery involved, it became easier to see this camp experience as a gift.  It has the potential to help him grow stronger faster and would be a lot more fun than the therapy models we use already; driving each day for a one hour session.  And, almost more than the rest, the idea that Donovan would be surrounded by kids with differences, who will understand his situation, not allow him to fall into the “I can’t because I have CP” thinking, and will be friends without differences defining who they are.

One of the main buildings.  Many beautiful buildings including the original farm house and barn from the 20s

So Steve and I agreed we needed to do this.  But, Donovan is not a “camp kid”.  He wants to be home, he wants to be with us and he is a very clear thinker and will commit 100% but it has to be his decision.  Our turning point was when a wonderful Miss Erin came to visit Donovan while he was in Mary Free Bed.  She is a Bay Cliff staffer working on finishing her Masters in Occupational Therapy and happened to be living in Grand Rapids for the year.  She brought her laptop full of Bay Cliff photos and sat with Donovan on his hospital bed to tell him about Bay Cliff.  Within minutes, he said “I want to go there” and we knew we could do this.  

The banner that greets you as you enter the therapy gym.  It says it all!

From Steve...

Of Angels and Rainbows…..

I hadn’t seen a rainbow in I don’t know how many years but it has been a while.  Could be I just wasn’t looking for one or it could be it just never struck me when there was one in front of me.  

Phase four of Donovan’s journey was the check in at Bay Cliff and leaving our nine year old in the capable handles of strangers.  Thank God Erin was there.  She was the wonderful OT who took time for us while at Mary Free Bed, and spent 3 hours filling Donovan’s heads with wondrous stories and pictures of camp.  She got him pumped to go…. Even after telling him later it was seven weeks…  

In the Therapy Gym with Erin

Erin is spending two weeks working at the camp in transition from moving from Grand Rapids to Royal Oak.  It’s a mystery to me (and yet not) how things work out to take care of D (and the rest of us).  It just so happens, Erin had a window of opportunity and Bay Cliff (BC) let her come to volunteer at the camp during her transition.  Seeing her friendly face as we walked in to check in and check it out, made all the difference in the world.  It settled our nerves and reassured Donovan, as much as possible, that he already had one friend at BC.  

As we took the tour and met all the staff (from therapists to ground keepers) it was apparent how kind, soft spoken and passionate everyone is, and they are all involved in taking the raw campers who enter in June, to work on maximizing their potential by August.  We met first time campers and experienced ones; first time counselors to the 20+ year Director.  There was a lot of enthusiasm, warm faces and encouraging words (for both campers and families leaving precious packages)…

BC originally was a Dairy Farm (ironic huh!) and held its first camp in the 20’s for kids with Polio.  It was one doctor and 6 kids.  You can still see the original farm house, barn and silo on a cliff overlooking Lake Superior.  Although many of the buildings are very old with “classic” looks, everything was immaculate, clean and well cared for.  Check in was orderly and took about 3 hours.  Each staff person listened intently, got to know D, answered all our questions and more, and left us encouraged and hopeful.

Miss Kim, D's Speech therapist who btw teaches at a bilingual school in Chicago!

Miss Christy (PT) in the Therapy Gym

Miss Carrie, D's OT

Donovan, in all this fuss of checking in, was having fun, getting impatient, being charming (working his magic on the staff) and showing off his camp as he discovered new things.  The campus is large and spread out but not daunting.   We moved from building to building and learned all we could.  As Bridget and the kids started this process I unloaded the truck with D’s stuff.  Bike, golf clubs, fishing pole (thank you Johnson clan for the new pole and gear!), two bags of stuff and a back pack.

The Bike Porch where Donovan's Terratrike is with many other adapted bikes!

Emma and Carl handled things fairly well.  They liked exploring the camp and buildings, Emma talked with staff and Carl ended up playing with a bunch of the kids as we unpacked Donovan in his cabin.  There is a total of 6 boys in his cabin, and he by far, he had more stuff than anyone (6 stuffed animals, books to read, pillow pet, etc. etc..)  Of course the day would not be complete if Emma and Carl didn’t complain about it being all about D, or about each other or being bored or etc… In other words, kids being kids.

If you hadn’t noticed, I’m stalling talking about the good bye.  It is easy to talk about the great views and people when it really only boils down to the last 5 minutes.  It all started when D realized it was close to us leaving.  Bridget and I were in his cabin talking with his Cabin Counselor and wrapping up things, Emma was conversing with a couple of boys in the room and Carl was outside playing some sort of ball game with a dozen or so camp kids, being the ring leader.  

The next thing I see is D bolting across the lawn from his cabin to the truck about 75 yards away.  Emma came up to me with a concerned look and said D is saying he wants to go home.

Bridget was finishing up with details with the counselor so I walked over to D who by this time was on the other side of the truck, about to open the door.  As I approached him I asked him how he was doing and told him how much fun he was going to have.  He said he wanted to go home in a low, somewhat wining voice.  I ignored the comment and said Mom wanted to get a picture of all of us, so if he would move, I’d get Buster out so he could be in the picture too.

The next 15 minutes or so are hard to describe.  Fear, hope, sadness, and pride.  As much as D pushed to go home, I could tell he’d get through it.  It wasn’t that determined “I’m going to throw a fit voice”, I heard in previous push backs.  It was I don’t want to do this but I know I should.  He wasn’t afraid as much as he just didn’t want to leave us.  

Earlier in the day as we were driving to the camp, he said to Bridget he didn’t want to go to camp, but he would if SHE wanted him too.  Bridget said she did, and all he said was.  “ok mom, I’ll do it for you”!

At one point, as we were now behind the truck, as we were moving to a tree where I thought we could get a picture, he got really frustrated and looked at me hard with tears in his eyes.  I bent down in front of him so my face was only inches from him, and said he forgot to shave my beard, and that we would do that when he came home. (he hates my beard as it tickles him when he hugs me.  For a while he wouldn’t give me a hug).

He laughed a little between tears (there were many in this sequence of events with him, but not loud crying) and said NO!  I told him I’d let him shave funny figures shapes if he would be strong and have a good camp.  He laughed at the idea of shaving an Angry Bird into my face and his eyes brightened slightly!  Then the tears started again (no... crying) and I looked at him close and said “if you don’t stop it you’re going to make your dad cry.  You want to make your dad cry, do you?”. He thought that was funny and laughed pretty good and the tears stopped for a moment.  I choked back my emotions and got him over to the tree on my lap and we got a few pictures.  Not without a few struggles with him refusing to pose and Buster being silly.

As this was all going on (before the pictures) Bridget went and thank God found Erin who helped take the pictures with D’s cabin counselor.  After we got the pictures done, Emma and Carl did a quick goodbye and jumped in the truck and loaded Buster.  Now it was imperative we move quickly and leave.  I sensed Bridget needed to get her emotions away from Donovan's sight.  She kissed him on the head without words because she was loosing it and got in the truck.  As Erin and his Cabin Counselor bracketed D to give him support and encouragement,  I gave him a quick kiss on the head and told D I loved him and was very proud of him and ran for the truck.  

I started the truck, turned around and waived to D.  He was visibly upset and crying as he watched us from the side of the driveway.   As we pulled away, Carl opened his window and said “Bye Donovan!  STAY STRONG!” and we pulled away to leave him the hands of very capable staff.  

It took everything I had to focus on keeping the truck going forward, telling myself we were doing the right thing, he would be ok, the strangers who now had our precious son, would take great care of him and someday, at his graduation, he would tell Bridget and I this was a turning point in his life to true independence and strength to achieve all I know he is capable of.

As we drove down the road, Carl and Emma talked about how cool the camp was and how well D would do there, giving us “parents”,  words of encouragement.  Carl asked his mom if she was ok and reassured her D would do great.  As I heard his words I took a brief look at B and could only remember the night we let Emma cry herself a sleep when she was 9 months in her crib.  Only this time, B didn’t have a bottle of wine and a FULL box of Kleenex.

As we drove down the road, it took all I could muster to keep the tears back as much as possible. Only a few small leaks escaped me.  I couldn’t remember a more emotionally wrenching time as I watched Carl and Emma launch onto their iPods.  They were dealing with this in their own ways.  About this time, Bridget ran out of Kleenex and used up all the fast food napkins in the truck, we saw a rainbow appear over Lake Superior!  It definitely made us feel better, and Bridget yelled to the kids to see it!  The mood was broken, a little….

Not easy to see but the rainbow is arching right over the road ahead

We stopped for dinner at a little restaurant in Munising after 30 minutes in the truck.  It provided a moment of respite from the emotions, as we focused on food and the US Open Golf tournament on the TV.  As we were leaving the restaurant, a squall came off the lake and a big down pour had infiltrated the open windows in our truck (we left them open for Buster).  After several minutes of scrambling in and out of the restaurant for paper towels to clean up and me trying to find my phone, (thinking I left it on the table, only to realize it was in my back pocket), we started the long journey home.

Can you see the double rainbow!

As we crested the valley Munising is in, there was another rainbow, then another one, then a double rainbow.  I can’t tell you how many we saw, but each one was bigger and brighter than the last.  Bridget tells the story about angels and rainbows.  As she recounted the story of Kevin, all I could think of was the special people in our lives who have passed and were the instigators of all those colors to reassure us.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy

Donovan would be alright.  We would be alright. All those angels were overlooking Bay Cliff watching and talking to him, giving him strength and determination, as we finished our drive home….

Epilouge.... from Bridget.....

The next day... I talked with Donovan's main cabin leader who said he had a rough 30 minutes but then took interest in the camp activities and had done great since then.  We asked about bedtime, thinking it would be hard again for him but heard that he did great and was even one of the strongest in his cabin. 

That's our Donovan!